The Survey

Yesterday was our 23rd wedding anniversary! Thank God!
For this auspicious occasion I hired an experienced painter to come to our house and create an image of my wife and myself.
The question arose whether he should paint me in a wheelchair or not.
I’m interested to know what you think about this dilemma and why.
So be counted and express your feelings!
I very much would like to hear from you!


  1. Mitchell · · Reply

    Very tough question. You cannot go wrong either way. But I think if you are trying to capture a moment in time at your anniversary, I say include the wheelchair. More importantly, he should capture your wonderful smile. Mazel tov.

  2. Zev Singer · · Reply

    IMHO (in my humble opinion), you could either go with the chair, or you could have an image where it’s just the two heads together. In one of his sonnets, Shakespeare wrote about “the marriage of true minds.” A just-heads image might represent the idea that your marriage is, and always was, a great marriage because of what happens in those two minds. Bodies are just bodies. Otherwise, as I say, nothing wrong with having the chair in there. Here is the sonnet in question, which has in it some truth that the Simeses prove. (I’m sure there’s something even more apt in Pirkei Avos, but this is the best I can do at the moment.

    Sonnet 116
    Let me not to the marriage of true minds
    Admit impediments. Love is not love
    Which alters when it alteration finds,
    Or bends with the remover to remove:
    O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
    That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
    It is the star to every wandering bark,
    Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
    Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
    Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
    Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
    But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
    If this be error and upon me proved,
    I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

    1. I read the sonnet three times before I captured a glimpse of the beauty of that sonnet. Thanks!

  3. · · Reply

    I think it would be wonderful to have a face painting of you both together and looking into each other’s eyes. Says so much. I don’t think the body is important but the emotion in the face is important if they can capture that expression.

  4. Mazel Tov on you wedding anniversary! We are celebrating ours tomorrow, 36 years!
    I’d like to reply to your dilemma. I think it makes no difference if you are on your wheelchair or not. What you are celebrating is the amazing miracle that Hashem grants us when he brings us together with our life mate. In your case, Shaindel is not only a life mate, but a life raft! The two of you share a wonderful relationship that has sure been changed since your accident, but in many ways it has been strengthened, and deepened. The wheelchair is not important in this depiction of this bond between the two of you. That wondrous bond is what you celebrate. How truly beautiful you and Shaindel our in the wonderful marriage and family you have created with the help of Hashem!
    Love, judy

  5. Rina Lederman · · Reply

    Doing just the heads is ok, but if you are doing full body it should be in a wheelchair.

  6. becky · · Reply

    Mazal Tov! I kind of remember your anniversary because shortly after your wedding -we became parents to Osnat. She will be 23 years old next week. It’s hard to believe! I truely agree with every word that Judy sent. I am waiting to see this wonderful way you have chosen to protray your very special קשר .
    Love to both you and Shaindel

    1. Mazal Tov to you too! I clearly remember you privately telling us in Chaya’s kitchen the good news!

  7. Leslie Siegman · · Reply

    I don’t think there is one right answer other than the one you will chose. There are some considerations that will help guide you to the outcome that is right for you. This is especially true considering this is a painting.

    On a broad scale (excluding the face) a picture by design captures only an exterior view and fundamentally a picture elicits a reaction of some kind that ranges from indiference to emotional. You can have the painter draw you in any position you chose. Knowing this, Is this picture about who you are at this moment, who you were until this moment, how you want children and grandchildren or others to see you.

    I think that a painting is different than a picture, it will have longevity and likely be featured in your house or someone else’s for many years to come. Just like the pictures of great kings in this world, painted pictures were well orchestrated events, with clothing and accessories picked long in advance and posture and background thought out to communicate a message of power and strength.

    Forget the wheelchair and put on your crown, let this be an outwardly statement of the inner you.

  8. Tovah · · Reply

    I’m tempted to say no wheelchair, just to be contrary… What about with the wheelchair, but with a similar pose to your wedding photo? Include the hat.

  9. Micah Shotkin · · Reply

    as long as they get your smile nothing else matters!

    1. On a Harley or not?

  10. Micah Shotkin · · Reply

    after a little reflection I’m thinking that I would like to see you blond, clean shaven, with a huge seventies afro.

    1. Ha Ha!! So would I!

  11. Marge Kaplan · · Reply

    Even though I know you need a wheelchair I don’t think of you as wheelchair bound. Your spirit soars above all restrictions.


    1. You just made my day!


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